God,
Why is it that the average uni student only finds joy in being smashed off their face?
I struggle with the notion that a good time must involve heavy drinking, provocative dressing and random 'hook ups'?
This has been a huge issue in my life over the past 3 years and something I am still struggling with now.
Last year I started university and met a whole group of new friends, none of them Christian. To begin with, friends from church told me to simply make new friends, thinking that these new girls would not encourage my faith and act as a bad example. I chose to think of these new friends as a new opportunity to show my faith and love for people who did not yet know god.
However, I found myself very quickly going to desperate lengths to fit in with these new friends. On the first day we shared drinking stories and before I knew it I was recieveing daily invitations to go to clubs, bars and pubs around the city.
It was almost comical how excited I was to finally leave the baggage of high school behind and start fresh- with friends who would love me for me- yet how it took no less than 10 minutes for me to be talking, swearing and encouraging behaviour that was the furthest thing I deeply believe in.
I am weak.
One time I went out clubbing with them- so nervous and embarassed I drank way to much and make myself sick. Low point. They loved me for it- I hated myself for it. They felt they had finally cracked me- I was finally being thr fun friend they had always hoped I would be.
At one point I built up the courage to explain that I do go to church. My two friends looked at me puzzled and I quickly back tracked to explain my church as more of a fun place for young people to hang out, listen to bands and find boyfriends. Having known these girls for a year and a half I have still not found the confidence to tell them about one of the most important parts of my life. I am weak. God, I truly need your help. How can I call myself a true Christian if I am to embarassed to talk about my love for your word and life?
After a year of me constantly rejecting their offers to go out drinking and dancing I think they have finally given up on me as a good friend. Sadly, I hardy consider them friends anymore either. In my bible study group last week we were discussing the importance of doing the most with relationships we have in out own lives. I am sadened on how quickly I have given up on them, since our friendship started challenging me. How can I show my 'friends' I love them without conforming to this behaviour I feel so strongly opposed to?
Thoughts? Opinions?
Peace xxxxx
I had no idea this blog existed, but a cheeky look at your blog profile showed me it did.
ReplyDelete"I am weak. God, I truly need your help. How can I call myself a true Christian if I am to embarassed to talk about my love for your word and life?" - Thank you for your reflection and words. These are things I have prayed and asked many times, and will continue to do. The difference between the Gospel I believe in and the gospel I live out to family, friends, church people, other people, by myself are tragically, comically, different.
As you can probably tell from my recent post, I am again going through a searching space. Would love to know where you're at with this stuff, since you posted this in March.
Love your work Dwight.